Wanting and Needing...

I don't know about the rest of you, but there are times when I just need a spanking. And I'm talking pinned over my man's knee, bare bottomed, while he just spanks the crap outta my butt. I would love to get spanked like that long enough to have me sobbing over his knee. Even if he needs to use a paddle or a hairbrush or something like that...that's fine. A lot of times I just bottle things up because I don't know how to talk about my feelings. So I just pretend like everything's fine. But it's not always fine. So I end up frustrated and angry. Times like these, the only solution I can think of is a thorough spanking. *sigh* But, as it stands, I won't be recieving one of those any time soon. Especially since the guy I'm seeing is just so....nice. I like romance as much as most gals but... I like violence in my men too. Not neccessarily directed towards *me*, but I like to know that it's at least there, waiting to come to the surface.

And how to you bring something like this up in conversation? "Oh, by the way, I really like to be spanked. Hard and often. Until I'm crying like a baby. I hope that's not a problem for you?". The guys I date are just so nice, I can't see them ever hurting me like that. *Grrrr* Nice is nice, and it's not like I want them to be mean, just...dominant. You can be a dom and not be mean, right? Or am I totally off base here and I need to look elsewhere to satisfy this part of me?

Sorry if this ended up sounding whiny, like I said, I'm just frustrated by a lot of stuff right now. That's it for tonight, until next time.

~*sarah*~

Sort of an Intro Post

Well, I'm not entirely sure anyone's actually going to read this blog, but at least I'll be able to get these feelings out in the open. Is there anything worse than being in the closet about something and not being able to share it with your closest friends? Well, I do have one friend that knows more or less the depth of what I yearn for and a few others that know I "like to be spanked".

But how can I explain that it goes so much deeper than that? Yes, I like to be spanked. For me, there's nothing more powerful than laying across a man's lap, waiting for the next blow to land. Or bent across the bed, waiting for the bite of a strap. I'm still waiting for a full-out spanking that will bring me to tears, but it seems that might be a long-time coming.

But...it's not just about "kink" and it's not about the pain. There is this incredible emotional release that comes with that experience. And a it takes a huge amount of trust for me to put myself in that position with a man. As well, there is a freedom that I can't explain in submitting to a man I care about. How does one go about finding such a man, though? I suppose I shall see, sometime down the road.
Well, this has been a rambling enough post, so I shall leave you all with this information to ponder *smile* Feel free to comment, offer advice, suggestions, criticism...whatever. Until next time....